Today was my seventh day of a 30 day trial period at the local Elk Grove Bikram Yoga studio. At first, I was pretty put off by the steady cadence of shouted commands, comparatively speaking -- I've gotten used to Srivatsa Ramaswami's gentle, encouraging manner. Ramaswami's "Bandhas please" is forever engrained in my memory.
But I have to say, the heat and the more forceful style of the Bikram teachers has made a difference. I had hurt my neck, left shoulder and arm several weeks ago and although the pain gradually subsided, it felt as though a muscle in my upper arm was missing. I could barely lift my arm with downward-facing palms. Then, a few weeks ago, my right knee was giving me a sharp pain when I walked unless I kept it partly bent. It was getting progressively worse until last Sunday when I started at the Bikram studio. After the very first 90 minute session, my knee felt better and after a week of sweating and a hot, stinky room for 90 minutes each day, my left arm is slowly getting stronger without a reoccurrence of pain. Better yet, both knees are getting stronger in balancing postures with the knees locked and the pain has almost entirely subsided. Of course, it is much easier to stretch in a room that is that hot and finally I feel my hips are starting to open up more after a seeming impasse.
I have to thank my Yoga teacher training classmate, Wyatt, for his suggestion to give Bikram a try. It definitely has helped though Vinyasa Krama is more where my heart is. Thanks, Wyatt! And special thanks to Ramaswami for his excellent teaching, incredible patience, and warm manner, even if the dance studio room at LMU was too cold for my old bones.
Every time I feel my ego start puffing up, I go to another classmate's blog to deflate and enjoy his wonderful progress. Check out Ashtanga Vinyasa Krama Yoga at Home for a joyfully humbling experience. Thank you Tony!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
When Herons Leave the Lake
New post about the passing of Robert Aitken Roshi and other Zen masters this past year at Way of Chan.
From here on out, most of my Chan-related "stray thoughts" will be posted at http://WayOfChan.blogspot.com, leaving http://barryawadsworth.blogspot.com for stray thoughts of a more general nature.
From here on out, most of my Chan-related "stray thoughts" will be posted at http://WayOfChan.blogspot.com, leaving http://barryawadsworth.blogspot.com for stray thoughts of a more general nature.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Restlessness During the Practice of Silent Illumination
A friend I met at a Silent Illumination retreat at the Dharma Drum Retreat Center last December wrote, "I have trouble focusing on the present, my mind swings back and forth like a monkey swings on a tree. Last night I meditated using the Silent Illumination method, I couldn't be silent more than 1 minute. I will keep trying....". How many of you meditators out there have experienced this? Everyone, I'm sure. How many meditators that have been practicing more than 5 years still experience this at times? Unless you are made of special stuff, again, everyone, I'm fairly certain. Now here is where it really hurts. How many of you meditators out there that have been practicing for 30 years or longer still have meditations like this occasionally? No one? Well, I guess I'm the only one that still has meditations like this at times.
There are many causes of restlessness. The fact that you choose to sit during a time when you are feeling restless is coincidental. It's just that you become acutely aware of restlessness during meditation. So first, lets look at the causes of restlessness and what can be done about them before meditation. Then, let's look at what we can do about restlessness during meditation.
Causes of Restlessness and Some Possible Remedies
We all have days when we have more energy than usual. This can be physical or mental energy. Generally, we like to have positive energy. It helps us be productive at work, have fun at play, and makes us feel alive! Positive mental and physical energy is a result of a balanced, healthy and wholesome lifestyle. When we eat fresh, wholesome, nutritious food, get enough daily exercise, have a good daily routine, don't subject ourselves to unnecessary stress, have a practice that helps us manage stress, and get sufficient sleep, chances are we will have considerably more energy that we would if our lifestyle was not so healthy. If you are the type that wakes up and feels like jogging, sitting in meditation might be a bit of a struggle at that time. This is why yogis traditionally did yogasanas before meditating, to improve fitness, circulation, mindfulness, and lower excessive energy. They also did mindful breathing exercises after yogasanas to reduce inertia and dullness just before meditating. By the time the yogi sits to meditate, her energy is balanced, her mind is well oxygenated and clear, and she begins meditation in an optimal state. Even at Chan retreats at DDRC, we do walking meditation, yogasanas and forms of "moving meditation" to balance the practice of sitting meditation. So, if you have high energy, you might do the Eight Forms Moving Meditation, walking meditation, or yogasanas before sitting meditation (a little pranayama wouldn't hurt either).
Eight Forms Moving Meditation
Sometimes, maybe too often, restlessness can occur because of energy of a more negative quality.This can happen because we are eating foods or drinking beverages that have a stimulating effect on the body and mind. It can happen because we are worrying, which causes restlessness but can also lead to dullness. Or, we can be restless because we feel uncomfortable about something we have done or said. Restlessness is a natural byproduct of worry, aversion, fear, anger, and hatred on the one hand, and craving, selfishness, greed, and lust on the other. This is why, especially in the Theravada Buddhist tradition, yogis are first taught Śīla (Sanskrit) or sīla (Pali), or virtue and moral discipline. You can learn to meditate, but from a practical standpoint if you are doing things that go against the fundamental precepts you are sure to have restlessness in your meditation. The Five Precepts are:
We are also taught to be aware of the Three Poisons: greed, hatred, and ignorance, and be mindful of the Noble Eightfold Path.
Right View
Right Intention
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration
This all makes sense on a very practical level. If we are not acting in such a way that we are creating conflict and discord, the environment in which we live will be more pleasant, less stressful and our mind will naturally be more settled.
Practicing mindfulness is particularly beneficial because it help us become aware of excessive worrying and put our awareness back on what is at hand. Cultivating mindfulness over a period of time helps us to become calmer and more balanced. We may still get surprised, disappointed, and upset, but these feelings are shorter and shorter lived. We don't harbor ill feelings in our hearts and naturally begin each new day with a blank slate. Ill feeling harbored in our hearts act like a computer virus in a computer. Mindfulness is like an anti-virus program that detects and fixes worrisome, fearful, aggressive, or hurtful thoughts.
What to Do about Restlessness During Meditation
Ok, so now you are living a good, wholesome, healthy, virtuous life. How come there is still restlessness. First of all, it is the nature of the mind to think thoughts. There is nothing unnatural about it. In some forms of meditation, the meditator simply acknowledges the thought that has arisen and then gently redirects the focus back to the method. So if you are following the breath and the mind has drifted to a thought, you simply let go of the thought, relax, and go back to mindfulness of breathing.
If thoughts still arise and lead to other thoughts, you may need to gently put a bit more effort into staying with the breath. There are some ways of doing this that seem to work for some people and other ways that work better for others. One way is to count each exhalation until you get to ten exhalations, and then start all over at one again (count the breaths). Another way that is to more actively participate in the experience of breathing. For example, be aware of how the breath begins, the duration, how it ends without controlling the breath. One that I like is to feel appreciation for the life-giving inhalation and the purifying and relaxing exhalation. My personal favorite is to focus on totally relaxing into each breath, to fully rest in the breath, totally letting go with each new inhalation and exhalation. This tends to very quickly settle both the mind and body and can lead to a very relaxed, alert state from which it is good to start practicing Silent Illumination.
Silent Illumination can be difficult to practice if you don't have good methods of dealing with restlessness. Because you are putting your awareness on the entire body at once, it can be elusive and more difficult to stay with that the breath. In that case, you might go back to following the breath using one of the techniques I mentioned above to focus and settle the mind. When the mind is less scattered and more unified, and you are fully present in each breath, then shift the focus to full awareness of the body just sitting. This will very quickly lead to a state where the boundaries of the body and environment begin to blur and then disappear and you can just be aware of the environment "just sitting". By this time, the mind will be very settled and you'll be able to continue effortlessly.
Everyone moves through periods of restlessness and drowsiness and everyone learns to deal with them in their own way. Sometimes one way is more effective and sometimes another. This is part of the skill of meditating that can only be developed over time. I still feel very much like a beginner and still have days that seem more problematic than others. My wife and I separated on April 13th and then on May 7th I was laid off and still haven't found a job. I'm now going through a divorce. These kinds of things can be unsettling. Practice Metta, Loving Kindness, and Karuna, Compassion, on yourself and on those that are being disagreeable in your life and this will go a long way to making each new day a great new day for practice!
There are many causes of restlessness. The fact that you choose to sit during a time when you are feeling restless is coincidental. It's just that you become acutely aware of restlessness during meditation. So first, lets look at the causes of restlessness and what can be done about them before meditation. Then, let's look at what we can do about restlessness during meditation.
Causes of Restlessness and Some Possible Remedies
We all have days when we have more energy than usual. This can be physical or mental energy. Generally, we like to have positive energy. It helps us be productive at work, have fun at play, and makes us feel alive! Positive mental and physical energy is a result of a balanced, healthy and wholesome lifestyle. When we eat fresh, wholesome, nutritious food, get enough daily exercise, have a good daily routine, don't subject ourselves to unnecessary stress, have a practice that helps us manage stress, and get sufficient sleep, chances are we will have considerably more energy that we would if our lifestyle was not so healthy. If you are the type that wakes up and feels like jogging, sitting in meditation might be a bit of a struggle at that time. This is why yogis traditionally did yogasanas before meditating, to improve fitness, circulation, mindfulness, and lower excessive energy. They also did mindful breathing exercises after yogasanas to reduce inertia and dullness just before meditating. By the time the yogi sits to meditate, her energy is balanced, her mind is well oxygenated and clear, and she begins meditation in an optimal state. Even at Chan retreats at DDRC, we do walking meditation, yogasanas and forms of "moving meditation" to balance the practice of sitting meditation. So, if you have high energy, you might do the Eight Forms Moving Meditation, walking meditation, or yogasanas before sitting meditation (a little pranayama wouldn't hurt either).
Eight Forms Moving Meditation
Sometimes, maybe too often, restlessness can occur because of energy of a more negative quality.This can happen because we are eating foods or drinking beverages that have a stimulating effect on the body and mind. It can happen because we are worrying, which causes restlessness but can also lead to dullness. Or, we can be restless because we feel uncomfortable about something we have done or said. Restlessness is a natural byproduct of worry, aversion, fear, anger, and hatred on the one hand, and craving, selfishness, greed, and lust on the other. This is why, especially in the Theravada Buddhist tradition, yogis are first taught Śīla (Sanskrit) or sīla (Pali), or virtue and moral discipline. You can learn to meditate, but from a practical standpoint if you are doing things that go against the fundamental precepts you are sure to have restlessness in your meditation. The Five Precepts are:
- Refraining from killing.
- Refraining from taking that which is not freely given (stealing).
- Refraining from sexual misconduct.
- Refraining from lying or deceiving.
- Refraining from intoxicants.
We are also taught to be aware of the Three Poisons: greed, hatred, and ignorance, and be mindful of the Noble Eightfold Path.
Right View
Right Intention
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration
This all makes sense on a very practical level. If we are not acting in such a way that we are creating conflict and discord, the environment in which we live will be more pleasant, less stressful and our mind will naturally be more settled.
Practicing mindfulness is particularly beneficial because it help us become aware of excessive worrying and put our awareness back on what is at hand. Cultivating mindfulness over a period of time helps us to become calmer and more balanced. We may still get surprised, disappointed, and upset, but these feelings are shorter and shorter lived. We don't harbor ill feelings in our hearts and naturally begin each new day with a blank slate. Ill feeling harbored in our hearts act like a computer virus in a computer. Mindfulness is like an anti-virus program that detects and fixes worrisome, fearful, aggressive, or hurtful thoughts.
What to Do about Restlessness During Meditation
Ok, so now you are living a good, wholesome, healthy, virtuous life. How come there is still restlessness. First of all, it is the nature of the mind to think thoughts. There is nothing unnatural about it. In some forms of meditation, the meditator simply acknowledges the thought that has arisen and then gently redirects the focus back to the method. So if you are following the breath and the mind has drifted to a thought, you simply let go of the thought, relax, and go back to mindfulness of breathing.
If thoughts still arise and lead to other thoughts, you may need to gently put a bit more effort into staying with the breath. There are some ways of doing this that seem to work for some people and other ways that work better for others. One way is to count each exhalation until you get to ten exhalations, and then start all over at one again (count the breaths). Another way that is to more actively participate in the experience of breathing. For example, be aware of how the breath begins, the duration, how it ends without controlling the breath. One that I like is to feel appreciation for the life-giving inhalation and the purifying and relaxing exhalation. My personal favorite is to focus on totally relaxing into each breath, to fully rest in the breath, totally letting go with each new inhalation and exhalation. This tends to very quickly settle both the mind and body and can lead to a very relaxed, alert state from which it is good to start practicing Silent Illumination.
Silent Illumination can be difficult to practice if you don't have good methods of dealing with restlessness. Because you are putting your awareness on the entire body at once, it can be elusive and more difficult to stay with that the breath. In that case, you might go back to following the breath using one of the techniques I mentioned above to focus and settle the mind. When the mind is less scattered and more unified, and you are fully present in each breath, then shift the focus to full awareness of the body just sitting. This will very quickly lead to a state where the boundaries of the body and environment begin to blur and then disappear and you can just be aware of the environment "just sitting". By this time, the mind will be very settled and you'll be able to continue effortlessly.
Everyone moves through periods of restlessness and drowsiness and everyone learns to deal with them in their own way. Sometimes one way is more effective and sometimes another. This is part of the skill of meditating that can only be developed over time. I still feel very much like a beginner and still have days that seem more problematic than others. My wife and I separated on April 13th and then on May 7th I was laid off and still haven't found a job. I'm now going through a divorce. These kinds of things can be unsettling. Practice Metta, Loving Kindness, and Karuna, Compassion, on yourself and on those that are being disagreeable in your life and this will go a long way to making each new day a great new day for practice!
Nothing So Charming as the Present
An old college buddy asked, "If the present is so charming, why does my mind wander away from the present?"
I guess the assumption here is that experiencing the present moment is more charming that reminiscing about that perfect day at the beach near Puerto Vallarta last year or day dreaming about scuba diving in Aruba next year. This reminiscing and day dreaming can also be quite charming! But, I think what my friend is getting at is very interesting and a great question. It depends on the depth to which we experience the present.
The practice of Chan emphasizes living fully in the present moment as does mindfulness practice of the Theravada tradition. If we are to become fully awakened to life just as it really is, it necessarily is in the present that this awakening will occur. During meditation, as the mind becomes more focused or unified it becomes less bound by thoughts. As fewer and fewer thoughts arise, the mind naturally becomes clearer, brighter, lighter and more expansive. This experience can be blissful or simply deeply contenting. During activity, this cultivation or habituation of a more unified mind naturally is more content to experience what is at hand. If the mind is clear, focused and content, there is less likelihood that it will be distracted by mundane thoughts that might arise. The practice of mindfulness actively builds on the clarity gained through meditation and consciously cultivates moment-to-moment clarity of whatever is arising and passing away from conscious experience. This can also lead to a mind that is clear, luminous, settled, and deeply satisfied to just be in the present, moment after moment. It is from this settled state that perception can refine and things can be seen just as they actually are. It is from this perception that insight into the fundamental truths of life occurs, which we know from Buddhist suttras and the writings of past masters can be a very liberating experience. Chan practice can lead to experiencing such charm in the present moment that there is no arising of craving or aversion. The need to reminisce or day dream evaporates when one can simply experiencing the present moment with sufficient clarity.
In that case, the answer to the question is until the mind is sufficiently cultivated and refined, the contentment experienced in the present is not charming enough to keep the mind focused, expanded, and aware in the present.
On the other hand, even advanced practitioners think of the past or future as the need arises. And even when the need doesn't arise, it's the nature of the mind to think thoughts. What is qualitatively different is that thoughts that arise are simply thoughts and the mind doesn't attach to them. They arise like a bubble as a child blows through the hoop. The thought expands from nothing but some slight impulse, takes shape, and floats away. A settled mind is aware of this arising and passing away of feelings, thoughts, and perceptions. The more awake and settled the mind, the finer the awareness of not only mental phenomena but also all phenomena rising and passing away in the environment. This awareness of the arising and passing away of mental and physical phenomena leads to the direct experience of a most fundamental nature, the insight into impermanence. The entire universe is seen as a massive flux of interrelated or conditioned arising of phenomena, and the dissolution of the same when conditions no longer support continuity. It may appear that the entire world is undergoing massive oxidization, as if everything is undergoing a catastrophic chemical reaction, burning, and be an awesome experience. Or, it can be like a symphony of such perfectly interrelated harmonies that the mind is arrested by the absolute perfection of it. However the realization of impermanence occurs, it is not an intellectual reasoning, but a direct and complete perception that leads to life changing insight. This insight can lead to further insight into the nature of the self.
Until or mind is sufficiently cultivated, the mind is like a monkey that is always chasing desires and averting fears. Once the mind is cultivated, it response to the environment, situations, and people with wisdom and compassion. A satisfied mind naturally has compassion for others that are suffering and a clear mind has the wisdom to know how to help them. The satisfied mind is a product of silence and a clear mind is the product of illumination. The Chan practice of Silent Illumination is extremely beneficial in cultivating a content, clear mind. The mind still reacts to things in the environment. When a bus is coming one gets out of the way. And one still makes plans for the future and reflects on what went wrong to do better next time. But, the predominant mode is to be aware of things as they occur and react in a way that is appropriate to the need of the time.
An undisciplined mind will not stop with an initial thought. It won't be aware of the thought arising and passing away. The mind attaches to the thought and becomes lost in a succession of subsequent thoughts. We long for something in the past or fear its reoccurrence, or regret what was done or said. Or we hope for something in the future or worry that it may happen. We are conditioned from beginningless time to crave for more and dread what we don't want. But, when the mind is settled enough, there is greater and greater contentment and though a thought may arise, it is acknowledged and just passes away if nothing more is required. The mind returns to a state of contentment that is simply aware with a clear, bright awareness. But, it's our habitual outward oriented craving and aversion that obscures what would otherwise be quite a contented state.
It is interesting to note that a person can experience unified mind, pure, unobstructed awareness, impermanence, or self-nature and then regress back to being overshadowed by mundane thoughts and day-to-day situations. What we are up against is a very powerfully ingrained habit cultured from beginningless time. That's why we need a practice like Zen to lift the veil and open our eyes. Then we need to refine the practice and cultivate seeing things just as they are without the imaginary ego or self getting in the way to distort the picture. If we get the self out of the picture, the whole thing opens up and everything converses with every other thing, infinitely correlated and perfectly functioning. It's all perfect when we get out of the way.
I guess the assumption here is that experiencing the present moment is more charming that reminiscing about that perfect day at the beach near Puerto Vallarta last year or day dreaming about scuba diving in Aruba next year. This reminiscing and day dreaming can also be quite charming! But, I think what my friend is getting at is very interesting and a great question. It depends on the depth to which we experience the present.
The practice of Chan emphasizes living fully in the present moment as does mindfulness practice of the Theravada tradition. If we are to become fully awakened to life just as it really is, it necessarily is in the present that this awakening will occur. During meditation, as the mind becomes more focused or unified it becomes less bound by thoughts. As fewer and fewer thoughts arise, the mind naturally becomes clearer, brighter, lighter and more expansive. This experience can be blissful or simply deeply contenting. During activity, this cultivation or habituation of a more unified mind naturally is more content to experience what is at hand. If the mind is clear, focused and content, there is less likelihood that it will be distracted by mundane thoughts that might arise. The practice of mindfulness actively builds on the clarity gained through meditation and consciously cultivates moment-to-moment clarity of whatever is arising and passing away from conscious experience. This can also lead to a mind that is clear, luminous, settled, and deeply satisfied to just be in the present, moment after moment. It is from this settled state that perception can refine and things can be seen just as they actually are. It is from this perception that insight into the fundamental truths of life occurs, which we know from Buddhist suttras and the writings of past masters can be a very liberating experience. Chan practice can lead to experiencing such charm in the present moment that there is no arising of craving or aversion. The need to reminisce or day dream evaporates when one can simply experiencing the present moment with sufficient clarity.
In that case, the answer to the question is until the mind is sufficiently cultivated and refined, the contentment experienced in the present is not charming enough to keep the mind focused, expanded, and aware in the present.
On the other hand, even advanced practitioners think of the past or future as the need arises. And even when the need doesn't arise, it's the nature of the mind to think thoughts. What is qualitatively different is that thoughts that arise are simply thoughts and the mind doesn't attach to them. They arise like a bubble as a child blows through the hoop. The thought expands from nothing but some slight impulse, takes shape, and floats away. A settled mind is aware of this arising and passing away of feelings, thoughts, and perceptions. The more awake and settled the mind, the finer the awareness of not only mental phenomena but also all phenomena rising and passing away in the environment. This awareness of the arising and passing away of mental and physical phenomena leads to the direct experience of a most fundamental nature, the insight into impermanence. The entire universe is seen as a massive flux of interrelated or conditioned arising of phenomena, and the dissolution of the same when conditions no longer support continuity. It may appear that the entire world is undergoing massive oxidization, as if everything is undergoing a catastrophic chemical reaction, burning, and be an awesome experience. Or, it can be like a symphony of such perfectly interrelated harmonies that the mind is arrested by the absolute perfection of it. However the realization of impermanence occurs, it is not an intellectual reasoning, but a direct and complete perception that leads to life changing insight. This insight can lead to further insight into the nature of the self.
Until or mind is sufficiently cultivated, the mind is like a monkey that is always chasing desires and averting fears. Once the mind is cultivated, it response to the environment, situations, and people with wisdom and compassion. A satisfied mind naturally has compassion for others that are suffering and a clear mind has the wisdom to know how to help them. The satisfied mind is a product of silence and a clear mind is the product of illumination. The Chan practice of Silent Illumination is extremely beneficial in cultivating a content, clear mind. The mind still reacts to things in the environment. When a bus is coming one gets out of the way. And one still makes plans for the future and reflects on what went wrong to do better next time. But, the predominant mode is to be aware of things as they occur and react in a way that is appropriate to the need of the time.
An undisciplined mind will not stop with an initial thought. It won't be aware of the thought arising and passing away. The mind attaches to the thought and becomes lost in a succession of subsequent thoughts. We long for something in the past or fear its reoccurrence, or regret what was done or said. Or we hope for something in the future or worry that it may happen. We are conditioned from beginningless time to crave for more and dread what we don't want. But, when the mind is settled enough, there is greater and greater contentment and though a thought may arise, it is acknowledged and just passes away if nothing more is required. The mind returns to a state of contentment that is simply aware with a clear, bright awareness. But, it's our habitual outward oriented craving and aversion that obscures what would otherwise be quite a contented state.
It is interesting to note that a person can experience unified mind, pure, unobstructed awareness, impermanence, or self-nature and then regress back to being overshadowed by mundane thoughts and day-to-day situations. What we are up against is a very powerfully ingrained habit cultured from beginningless time. That's why we need a practice like Zen to lift the veil and open our eyes. Then we need to refine the practice and cultivate seeing things just as they are without the imaginary ego or self getting in the way to distort the picture. If we get the self out of the picture, the whole thing opens up and everything converses with every other thing, infinitely correlated and perfectly functioning. It's all perfect when we get out of the way.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Yoga as Mindfulness Practice - A Buddhist Perspective
For Buddhists, the practice of yoga asanas as a method of mindfulness practice is especially meaningful. Although some traditional yoga teachers emphasize mindfulness of breathing in synchronization with the breath, the Buddhist context of using bare attention to penetrate the moment as a means to realization is not as emphasized or is missing. During Chan and Vipassana practice, especially on retreats, slowing down all activity to the point that you can peer into its very nature is essential and can lead to a very direct experience of impermanence and self-nature. This understanding and emphasis coupled with the practice of yoga asanas is particularly useful.
In the Yoga Sutras, there is the concept of uninterrupted, moment-to-moment one pointedness or focus. But the goal there is not realization of self-nature in the Buddhist sense, but realization of individual self (atman) as distinct from the citta vrittis. Of course, this is where Buddhism departs, with an emphasis on there not being an independently existing person, self, or soul.
Practicing yoga has been a kind of experiment for me. Can a practicing Buddhist practice yoga in such a way that the fundamental truths of Buddhism, suffering, impermanence, and no self (anatma), are not distorted or lost? I think the answer is definitely yes, but it requires a clear understanding of the differences in addition to the similarities of the two traditions. Otherwise, it becomes a confusing melting pot that doesn't do justice to either tradition. For me, the goal is not Patanjali's dualistic realization of individual self as distinct from phenomena and Universal Self (Purusha of Isvara). It's also not Shankara's non-dualistic realization that self is Brahman. Rather, it's the complete liberation from attachment to any notion of self. Once self is removed from the picture, perception is pure and everything is seen just as it is. This is true, unimpeded and boundless liberation. When the experience of self is lost, perception pivots on itself and myriad things sing in harmony with all other things, infinitely correlated, perfect and complete. Any clinging to "self" collapses this perfect harmony, the natural state of things, to self and other, internal and external, interesting and uninteresting, good and bad, mine and not mine.
One might say that one who experiences "aham Brahmasmi" (I am Brahman) also experiences this same non-dualistic reality and is not impeded by attachment or aversion to anything since everything is experienced as Self. Yet Buddha's awakening specifically had the characteristic of going beyond an eternal notion of self, even Universal Self, as the highest enlightenment. According to Buddhist sutras, as long as there is any identification with self, one is still trapped in the cycle of birth and death and not completely liberated. The wisdom of knowing the truths of suffering, impermanence, and no self engenders compassion for all sentient beings and frees one to act completely for the benefit of others, without regard to self. I've seen this selflessness in my Shifu, Chan Master Sheng Yen and in my Vipassana master, Ven. Chanmyay Sayadaw. They both have the quality of being completely present and available, fully there for you with no distraction, when you talk with them. Your ego could even get puffed up with the feeling that you were the most important person in the world to them at that particular moment. But, they also had the compassionate ability to deflate the ego when the time was right. I've noticed the same quality in the Dharma heirs of Master Sheng Yen and some of Chanmyay Sayadaw's disciples and lay students -- fully present, awake and clear, penetrating, insightful, patient, and compassionate. I noticed the same qualities in the Dalai Lama. The world needs more saints like these!
For Buddhists and non-Buddhists, practicing yogasanas with mindfulness can be very beneficial in developing a very direct perception, a bare awareness of space, time, motion and sensation. Deepening this experiences enables the silence of meditation to stabilize in daily activity and bring about moment-to-moment penetrating focus along with awareness unbound by the environment. The union of Buddhist understanding with mindful practice of yogasanas is particularly beneficial. I'm very glad to hear of courses being taught, such as those at Spirit Rock, that have this focus. This is bound to improve the overall landscape of Yoga as it is taught in the West.
In the Yoga Sutras, there is the concept of uninterrupted, moment-to-moment one pointedness or focus. But the goal there is not realization of self-nature in the Buddhist sense, but realization of individual self (atman) as distinct from the citta vrittis. Of course, this is where Buddhism departs, with an emphasis on there not being an independently existing person, self, or soul.
Practicing yoga has been a kind of experiment for me. Can a practicing Buddhist practice yoga in such a way that the fundamental truths of Buddhism, suffering, impermanence, and no self (anatma), are not distorted or lost? I think the answer is definitely yes, but it requires a clear understanding of the differences in addition to the similarities of the two traditions. Otherwise, it becomes a confusing melting pot that doesn't do justice to either tradition. For me, the goal is not Patanjali's dualistic realization of individual self as distinct from phenomena and Universal Self (Purusha of Isvara). It's also not Shankara's non-dualistic realization that self is Brahman. Rather, it's the complete liberation from attachment to any notion of self. Once self is removed from the picture, perception is pure and everything is seen just as it is. This is true, unimpeded and boundless liberation. When the experience of self is lost, perception pivots on itself and myriad things sing in harmony with all other things, infinitely correlated, perfect and complete. Any clinging to "self" collapses this perfect harmony, the natural state of things, to self and other, internal and external, interesting and uninteresting, good and bad, mine and not mine.
One might say that one who experiences "aham Brahmasmi" (I am Brahman) also experiences this same non-dualistic reality and is not impeded by attachment or aversion to anything since everything is experienced as Self. Yet Buddha's awakening specifically had the characteristic of going beyond an eternal notion of self, even Universal Self, as the highest enlightenment. According to Buddhist sutras, as long as there is any identification with self, one is still trapped in the cycle of birth and death and not completely liberated. The wisdom of knowing the truths of suffering, impermanence, and no self engenders compassion for all sentient beings and frees one to act completely for the benefit of others, without regard to self. I've seen this selflessness in my Shifu, Chan Master Sheng Yen and in my Vipassana master, Ven. Chanmyay Sayadaw. They both have the quality of being completely present and available, fully there for you with no distraction, when you talk with them. Your ego could even get puffed up with the feeling that you were the most important person in the world to them at that particular moment. But, they also had the compassionate ability to deflate the ego when the time was right. I've noticed the same quality in the Dharma heirs of Master Sheng Yen and some of Chanmyay Sayadaw's disciples and lay students -- fully present, awake and clear, penetrating, insightful, patient, and compassionate. I noticed the same qualities in the Dalai Lama. The world needs more saints like these!
For Buddhists and non-Buddhists, practicing yogasanas with mindfulness can be very beneficial in developing a very direct perception, a bare awareness of space, time, motion and sensation. Deepening this experiences enables the silence of meditation to stabilize in daily activity and bring about moment-to-moment penetrating focus along with awareness unbound by the environment. The union of Buddhist understanding with mindful practice of yogasanas is particularly beneficial. I'm very glad to hear of courses being taught, such as those at Spirit Rock, that have this focus. This is bound to improve the overall landscape of Yoga as it is taught in the West.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
What is Vinyasa Krama Yoga?
Vinyasa Krama Yoga is an ancient practice of physical and spiritual development. Vinyasa is a Sanskrit word that refers to a variation of movement and postures. The prefix vi, means variation and the suffix nyasa means “within prescribed parameters”. Krama is Sanskrit for methodology or sequence. Vinyasa Krama Yoga integrates mind, body, and breath through sequences of yogasanas and their many variations. Each variation is linked to the next by a flowing succession of transitional movements synchronized with slow, smooth, deliberate ujjayi (throat) yogic breathing. This produces a harmonizing and unifying effect between the mind, body and movement leading to heightened awareness and refined levels of concentration as preparation for pranayama and meditation.
(The above paraphrased from Srivatsa Ramaswami's book, The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga)
Loyola Marymount University offers a Yoga Alliance® Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT®) certificate program taught by Srivatsa Ramaswami, one of Sri T. Krishnamacharya’s longest-standing students. Srivatsa Ramaswami is the author of Yoga for the Three Stages of Life and The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga, and co-author of Yoga Beneath the Surface and privately studied with Sri Krishnamacharya for over 30 years.
The 200 Hour Vinyasa Krama Yoga Teacher Training Program offers Yoga students aspiring to become registered teachers a solid curriculum in traditional yoga studies that fulfills the 200 Hour Standards for Yoga Alliance® registration as a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT®). The subjects include:
1. Vinyasakrama Yogasanas (60 hours)
2. Visesha Vinyasas (20 hours)
3. Pranayama (20 hours)
4. Mantras and Meditation (20 hours)
5. Sri Krishnamacharya's Works (20 hours)
6. Yoga Sutras (20 hours).
7. Yoga for Internal Organs (10 hours)
8. Yoga Business and Teaching Methodology (10 hours)
9. Anatomy and Physiology (10 hours)
10. Subtle Anatomy and Chanting (10 hours)
Total: 200 hours
Over 700 yogasana (yoga posture) variations are explored in the 200-Hour program.
(The above paraphrased from Srivatsa Ramaswami's book, The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga)
Loyola Marymount University offers a Yoga Alliance® Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT®) certificate program taught by Srivatsa Ramaswami, one of Sri T. Krishnamacharya’s longest-standing students. Srivatsa Ramaswami is the author of Yoga for the Three Stages of Life and The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga, and co-author of Yoga Beneath the Surface and privately studied with Sri Krishnamacharya for over 30 years.
The 200 Hour Vinyasa Krama Yoga Teacher Training Program offers Yoga students aspiring to become registered teachers a solid curriculum in traditional yoga studies that fulfills the 200 Hour Standards for Yoga Alliance® registration as a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT®). The subjects include:
1. Vinyasakrama Yogasanas (60 hours)
2. Visesha Vinyasas (20 hours)
3. Pranayama (20 hours)
4. Mantras and Meditation (20 hours)
5. Sri Krishnamacharya's Works (20 hours)
6. Yoga Sutras (20 hours).
7. Yoga for Internal Organs (10 hours)
8. Yoga Business and Teaching Methodology (10 hours)
9. Anatomy and Physiology (10 hours)
10. Subtle Anatomy and Chanting (10 hours)
Total: 200 hours
Over 700 yogasana (yoga posture) variations are explored in the 200-Hour program.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Varieties of Enlightenment
Back in the mid-seventies I was in the Air Force, and was stationed on Pope Air Force Base near Fort Bragg, a huge army base covering over 200 square miles of central North Carolina. I was 18 years old and bored out of my mind. The military had thoroughly corrupted the nearby town of Fayetteville and my only reprieve from boredom was to drive to the coast on Friday evening and spend the weekend on the beaches of Cape Hatteras and Okracoke Island. Laying on the beach at night listening to the ocean waves lulled my mind to a restful state just at the cusp of sleep. Even though I never seemed to fully fall asleep, I always seemed to rise with the first sunlight coming over the flat, watery horizon feeling refreshed. I felt very awake, aware, and alive. This feeling seemed to last throughout the day and even into the first day or two of the work week. By Friday, the effect had worn off and I was ready for another trip to the Outer Banks.
After I got out of the Air Force in May of ‘76, I moved out to Colorado Springs where my sister was living to look for a job. I wasn’t able to find a job but did go on some great back-packing trips with my brother-in-law. Up in the Rockies as you climb the trails, the wind blowing through the aspens and conifers sings enchanting songs, calming and pacifying the mind. There is no desire to think of anything but the sound of rustling leaves high above, whispers through fir needles, the scent of pine and loamy soil, and the slow, rhythmic pace of footsteps and breathing. It was effortless to be deeply settled in the present moment and more fully aware of self and environment. Running streams chanted in a thousand tongues all singing praise to each fleeting moment. I found these backpacking trips as necessary as sleeping and eating. They were healing, nature itself the doctor. They addressed a deep longing that I didn’t even know that I had and all I knew was that I wanted more of this sweet contentment that the mountains offered.
I briefly moved back to my home town in Illinois and found a job in a machine shop. I was a terrible mill operator and was soon let go, but while I was living there I went into the Karmel Korn shop I used to visit as a kid and saw a book called The TM Book. I was fascinated by the name, “Transcendental Meditation”. What does it mean? What would it be like to “transcend” thought? A few weeks later, I had returned to my pre-Air Force employer in Springfield, Illinois and as I was walking down the street, I saw a poster with Maharish Mahesh Yogi’s portrait on it and the words “Transcendental Meditation - Public Lecture”. It was that very evening. I attended the two introductory lectures and on Saturday morning found myself witnessing a puja to Guru Dev, Maharishi’s master, and was given a one syllable mantra to repeat to myself in a small room as I was sitting on a chair. Soon my hands folded on my lap seemed to be far below me and I could hear sounds from the neighborhood with fascinating clarity. The mantra seemed to be repeating in my mind automatically with no effort on my part and I felt completely serene, paralyzed. The teacher then asked how I was doing and I told him, “Fine.” He said, “This is how we meditate”. I continued to meditate using the mantra I was given for many years.
I missed Colorado and soon moved back. While there I took a “Science of Creative Intelligence” class at the Colorado Springs TM center. The people were unlike any I had ever met before and I felt so comfortable with them all -- a retired colonel, the wife of a surgeon, a college student, another retired couple, and couple that were TM teachers, along with Ron Carpenter, the head of the center. I saw a Maharishi International University catalog at the center and knew I had to go there.
In January of 1978, I started my freshman year at MIU (later renamed to Maharishi University of Management). In the summer of ‘79, I went on an extended retreat to learn the TM Siddhi program and soon found myself meditating twice a day with about a thousand other “siddhas” in the “Golden Dome”, a huge meditation hall (or flying hall as we called it). After doing a quick set of yoga asanas and pranayama in my dorm room, I would walk with all the other meditators to the dome and practice TM and the Siddhis. I remember mornings and afternoons in the dome when I felt that there was nothing more I need do in this life so great was the feeling of contentment during meditation.
While at MIU (MUM), I listened to hundreds of hours of Maharishi videos as part of “Forest Academy” retreats that were part of the curriculum. Maharishi delineated seven states of consciousness in some of the lectures:
Waking
Dreaming
Sleeping
Pure Consciousness - A state of “restful alertness” experienced during the practice of meditation when thoughts and mantra subside and consciousness is simply self-aware.
Cosmic Consciousness (CC) - A state when Pure Consciousness becomes infused into the waking state giving the rise to “unbounded awareness”. This is a state when the awareness of the Self is maintained during normal activity. It is called “cosmic” because it includes the awareness of the subject and object of perception, i.e., the experiencer is never “overshadowed” by perception and even dynamic activity.
God Consciousness (GC) - As one becomes established in Cosmic Consciousness, the senses continue to refine giving rise to greater and greater appreciation of subtler and subtler levels of perception. This eventually brings about the perception of the celestial or divine aspects present in the phenomenal world and causes the heart to expand in love for the divine.
Unity Consciousness (UC) - With the rise of God Consciousness, the separation between the subject and object, the knower and the known, eventually dissolves. One perceives the world without duality and feels one with the surroundings. As this state unfolds, one feels one with the entire universe and realizes the mahavakya “Aham Brahmasmi” -- I am Brahman. This realization is also know as Brahman Consciousness (BC).
Of course, we at MIU had no doubt that Maharishi and his teacher, Guru Dev (Swami Brahmananda Saraswati) were in Brahman Consciousness and took everything that Maharishi said as being unquestionably true. How could an enlightened being say something that was not true?
After graduating from MIU, I moved to Taiwan to learn Chinese and taught English for a living. While there, I met a Chinese monk, Venerable Master Sheng-yen, who had received dharma transmission from two different Chan lineages, the Caodong (Soto) and the Linjii (Rinzai) traditions of Chan (Chinese Zen) Buddhism, that is, his masters verified that he had the correct and authentic experience of self-nature and was qualified to teach others. I began attending his Sunday lectures and soon found myself on a seven day Chan retreat in New York City while I had briefly returned to the US. At first I was reluctant to give up the practice of TM and the Siddhis but became aware that I had become very attached to the practice. A nun reasoned with me, “If you can pick something up, you can also put it down -- and you can pick it up again.” I was reluctant. On the second day of the retreat, Master Sheng-yen (Shifu), asked me to just meditate by following my breath. I agreed, thinking that after 9 years of practicing TM, it would be easy. It wasn’t. Pain in my legs at times was unbearable and I was beginning to think that Chan Buddhists were masochists. But, something about Shifu made me fully trust him and I persisted with this practice for several years.
It was during this time that I experience inner conflict regarding seemingly opposing religious traditions I had been exposed to. I had grown up as a Catholic, pretty much became a Vedantic yogi while at MIU, and suddenly found myself very seriously desiring to become a Buddhist monk out of shear trust of my Shifu, Master Sheng-yen. Shifu was an incredible man. When he lectured, you always thought he was talking to you personally. And when he was talking to you, he seemed completely and genuinely interested in you, in your well-being without concern for himself. While I deeply admired this selfless quality, it ran contrary to my education from Maharishi. While the Maharishi proclaimed, “All love is directed toward the self”, the Buddha proclaimed that there is no independently existing person, self, or soul. All the Chan and Zen literature seemed to point to this as fact. My own Shifu seemed to be completely selfless and full of compassion for others. What would it be like to experience “no self”? I was intrigued and apprehensive at the same time. And how could Maharishi say that the ultimate reality was Brahman when the Buddha and my Shifu proclaimed that there is no such thing? How could there be no Creator? It was so obvious that there was intelligence of a supreme order in the universe. These questions gnawed at me for quite some time.
Eventually, my recourse was to look back at my own Christian tradition for answers. I went through a period where I read meditative and contemplative works by Thomas Merton, Fr. Basil Pennington, Thomas Keating, Catherine Doherty and others for answers. I eventually became interested in meditative tradition of Eastern Orthodox Christianity and even enrolled in a three year program to become a deacon. After the first semester, I faced quiet a crisis. I had read so many books that were required reading on the history of the church and its doctrines and while on vacation at Lake Tahoe, I suddenly realized that I simply didn’t believe in most of the Christian dogma. It was like a balloon was popped and Christianity just vanished before my eyes.
I began studying Buddhist and Indian literature much more seriously to find out how so many obviously enlightened masters could experience a different enlightenment than what Maharishi had laid out. How could there be multiple enlightenments? How can one person experience enlightenment and proclaim that it is Brahman and another experience enlightenment and say that it is void of Self? As I read more about the different schools of Buddhism, I found that even they didn’t agree on what the experience of Nirvana was. The Theravada Buddhist present Nirvana one way and the Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhist present it other ways. So how can the experience of Nirvana be different?
I decided that the only way I would know the truth was to experience it myself. In 2005, I rededicated myself to practicing meditation and started attending Chan retreats at Dharma Drum Retreat Center in Pine Bush, New York. After several retreats, my experience and confidence in the Chan Buddhist tradition deepened significantly. I also went to Vipassina retreats held at the Chanmyay Satipatthana Vihara in Springfield, Illinois, which I felt were extremely helpful in understanding the experience of no self and loosing the fear of this experience. The last retreat I went on was in December of 2009, and this retreat brought about an experience that has made my faith in Buddhism unshakable.
So why am I on a traditional yoga teacher training course? After practicing meditation for many years, I reached a point where I could no longer bear to not help others learn to meditate. There is so much confusion and suffering in the world that is so unnecessary. Through meditation and adapting a lifestyle conducive to its practice, confusion and suffering begin to fall away. At the request of the former abbot of the Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC), Ven. Guo Jun, I began leading a meditation group in Fort Wayne, Indiana (and now in Elk Grove, California). People get together and practice meditation together once every couple weeks or so. Meanwhile, I started practicing yoga again in Elk Grove after joining a fitness club to address health concerns and rediscovered that it was a great way to practice mindfulness and settle down before meditation. Yoga was incorporated into the Chan retreats at DDRC for this reason. The people that attend the meditation sessions I host have a lot of trouble with restlessness and I thought it would be great to incorporate yoga into our meditation practice. Then, I got laid off and was given a Borders Books gift card for my birthday. It was then that I found Srivatsa Ramaswami’s book, The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga, and then found his website and the 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training course offered at LMU. So, hear I am!
Being on this course, I’ve run into a whole new set of philosophies to reconcile. In Ramaswami’s Yoga Sutras class, it became apparent that the Yoga of Patanjali was not the yoga I had learned from Maharishi years ago. Patanjali is said to have written the Yoga Sutras to clarify what had become a morass of conflicting yogic philosophies in India. It was also a reaction to challenges to “orthodox” Indian philosophy from Jain and Buddhist sources. But, in clarifying yoga, Patanjali actually set it apart from Vedantic Brahmanism while introducing a devotional path for those so inclined as well as a purely meditative path for those that do not accept the notion of a Creator God. Patanjali’s Yoga reaches its culmination in the realization of the individual self (atman) as separate from the universal Self. According to Patanjali, enlightenment is a state of duality in which the individual Self is separate from all other phenomena, including the universal Self. The Vedantic tradition sees this duality as the last vestige of ignorance and seeks to remove it. Circling back to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s teaching, the dualism of Patanjali is equivalent to the state of Cosmic Consciousness. It is a state of liberation, but not a fully enlightened state of Unity (or Brahman) Consciousness.
From the Chan Buddhist perspective, the experience of Unity Consciousness is also recognized as a state of liberation and a highly enlightened state. In fact, meditators on Chan retreats that I have attended have had clear experiences of Unity Consciousness, experiencing oneness with the environment. Yet this is not seen as the goal of Chan enlightenment. When meditators go to the retreat master with experiences of oneness with the environment or even the universe, they are told to go back and work harder.
There comes a time when even this oneness falls away and any attachment to the notion of self (individual or universal) evaporates. The Chan retreats use a meditation technique that is sometimes referred to as “The Method of No Method” (refer to my Shifu’s book of this name) or Silent Illumination (Chinese: Muo Zhao). This method requires that the meditator already be able to stay with the object of meditation without problem, i.e., Dhyana, from which the Chinese word Chan is derived. After following the breath and attaining what is referred to as “unifed mind”, the practitioner changes the object of meditation to the entire body and sits with full awareness of the body “just sitting”. As the meditator continues this practice, the distinction of where the body ends and where the environment begins becomes blurred and begins to evaporate completely. During this second stage, the meditator feels as though the body is the entire room. As sounds come from beyond the room, the distinction again falls away and what is beyond the room also is perceived to be all within ones own awareness. This continues until there is a feeling of complete oneness with the environment. Even as the meditator walks to the dining hall, washes the dishes, or lays down to rest, this feeling of oneness with the objects of perception can persist, even extending to the sun, moon, stars, and universe.
To move beyond this experience of unity with the phenomenal world, some retreat masters will use a technique known as “Direct Contemplation” and have the practitioners focus on an object in the natural world with bare awareness. When the meditator is ripe for such a technique, even the unified subject/object relationship begins to melt. It’s as if perception pivots on itself and looses the need of a perceiver. The subject of perception fades and only the object remains. The phenomenal world becomes fully illumined by silence and all of nature comes alive, all things infinitely correlated with all other things, all speaking to all other with perfect fluidity. A cosmic orchestra of mutually supporting, ever changing phenomena penetrated by silence. It is a state of absolute perfection and contentment devoid of any attachment to self or any object of perception. In Chan literature, it is said to be beyond words, yet there are some very beautiful poems by Chan masters that beautifully give glimpses of this state.
So who is to say that the experience of Brahman is any different? Does the person that experiences the mahavakya, “Aham Brahmasmi”, experience anything differently that the Chan practitioner of the highest calibre? Does he still identify with a universal Self? Is there still attachment or clinging to Self? I leave this for you to ponder, or better yet to penetrate.
While there are different paths to enlightenment and different levels of enlightenment, ultimately at the highest level they cannot be different. Experiencing silence between waves at the sea shore or feeling a vague oneness with the wind and trees in the mountains could be called a dawning of awakening. Experiencing mind totally content to stay with the object of meditation is a level of enlightenment. Effortlessly maintaining constant awareness of oneself during activity is another level and loosing awareness of that self is yet another, higher level. When one has no more to do for oneself but can only think of helping others out of suffering, this is higher still. Realizing there is no suffering is still higher.
There cannot be different ultimate truths. I believe all spiritual paths may ultimately lead to one truth. As we say in the Mid-West, some paths may be “taking the long way around the barn”, but they all lead to the other side. My own path around the barn has been a long and winding one. May your path to the supreme truth be as direct and sweet as possible!
After I got out of the Air Force in May of ‘76, I moved out to Colorado Springs where my sister was living to look for a job. I wasn’t able to find a job but did go on some great back-packing trips with my brother-in-law. Up in the Rockies as you climb the trails, the wind blowing through the aspens and conifers sings enchanting songs, calming and pacifying the mind. There is no desire to think of anything but the sound of rustling leaves high above, whispers through fir needles, the scent of pine and loamy soil, and the slow, rhythmic pace of footsteps and breathing. It was effortless to be deeply settled in the present moment and more fully aware of self and environment. Running streams chanted in a thousand tongues all singing praise to each fleeting moment. I found these backpacking trips as necessary as sleeping and eating. They were healing, nature itself the doctor. They addressed a deep longing that I didn’t even know that I had and all I knew was that I wanted more of this sweet contentment that the mountains offered.
I briefly moved back to my home town in Illinois and found a job in a machine shop. I was a terrible mill operator and was soon let go, but while I was living there I went into the Karmel Korn shop I used to visit as a kid and saw a book called The TM Book. I was fascinated by the name, “Transcendental Meditation”. What does it mean? What would it be like to “transcend” thought? A few weeks later, I had returned to my pre-Air Force employer in Springfield, Illinois and as I was walking down the street, I saw a poster with Maharish Mahesh Yogi’s portrait on it and the words “Transcendental Meditation - Public Lecture”. It was that very evening. I attended the two introductory lectures and on Saturday morning found myself witnessing a puja to Guru Dev, Maharishi’s master, and was given a one syllable mantra to repeat to myself in a small room as I was sitting on a chair. Soon my hands folded on my lap seemed to be far below me and I could hear sounds from the neighborhood with fascinating clarity. The mantra seemed to be repeating in my mind automatically with no effort on my part and I felt completely serene, paralyzed. The teacher then asked how I was doing and I told him, “Fine.” He said, “This is how we meditate”. I continued to meditate using the mantra I was given for many years.
I missed Colorado and soon moved back. While there I took a “Science of Creative Intelligence” class at the Colorado Springs TM center. The people were unlike any I had ever met before and I felt so comfortable with them all -- a retired colonel, the wife of a surgeon, a college student, another retired couple, and couple that were TM teachers, along with Ron Carpenter, the head of the center. I saw a Maharishi International University catalog at the center and knew I had to go there.
In January of 1978, I started my freshman year at MIU (later renamed to Maharishi University of Management). In the summer of ‘79, I went on an extended retreat to learn the TM Siddhi program and soon found myself meditating twice a day with about a thousand other “siddhas” in the “Golden Dome”, a huge meditation hall (or flying hall as we called it). After doing a quick set of yoga asanas and pranayama in my dorm room, I would walk with all the other meditators to the dome and practice TM and the Siddhis. I remember mornings and afternoons in the dome when I felt that there was nothing more I need do in this life so great was the feeling of contentment during meditation.
While at MIU (MUM), I listened to hundreds of hours of Maharishi videos as part of “Forest Academy” retreats that were part of the curriculum. Maharishi delineated seven states of consciousness in some of the lectures:
Waking
Dreaming
Sleeping
Pure Consciousness - A state of “restful alertness” experienced during the practice of meditation when thoughts and mantra subside and consciousness is simply self-aware.
Cosmic Consciousness (CC) - A state when Pure Consciousness becomes infused into the waking state giving the rise to “unbounded awareness”. This is a state when the awareness of the Self is maintained during normal activity. It is called “cosmic” because it includes the awareness of the subject and object of perception, i.e., the experiencer is never “overshadowed” by perception and even dynamic activity.
God Consciousness (GC) - As one becomes established in Cosmic Consciousness, the senses continue to refine giving rise to greater and greater appreciation of subtler and subtler levels of perception. This eventually brings about the perception of the celestial or divine aspects present in the phenomenal world and causes the heart to expand in love for the divine.
Unity Consciousness (UC) - With the rise of God Consciousness, the separation between the subject and object, the knower and the known, eventually dissolves. One perceives the world without duality and feels one with the surroundings. As this state unfolds, one feels one with the entire universe and realizes the mahavakya “Aham Brahmasmi” -- I am Brahman. This realization is also know as Brahman Consciousness (BC).
Of course, we at MIU had no doubt that Maharishi and his teacher, Guru Dev (Swami Brahmananda Saraswati) were in Brahman Consciousness and took everything that Maharishi said as being unquestionably true. How could an enlightened being say something that was not true?
After graduating from MIU, I moved to Taiwan to learn Chinese and taught English for a living. While there, I met a Chinese monk, Venerable Master Sheng-yen, who had received dharma transmission from two different Chan lineages, the Caodong (Soto) and the Linjii (Rinzai) traditions of Chan (Chinese Zen) Buddhism, that is, his masters verified that he had the correct and authentic experience of self-nature and was qualified to teach others. I began attending his Sunday lectures and soon found myself on a seven day Chan retreat in New York City while I had briefly returned to the US. At first I was reluctant to give up the practice of TM and the Siddhis but became aware that I had become very attached to the practice. A nun reasoned with me, “If you can pick something up, you can also put it down -- and you can pick it up again.” I was reluctant. On the second day of the retreat, Master Sheng-yen (Shifu), asked me to just meditate by following my breath. I agreed, thinking that after 9 years of practicing TM, it would be easy. It wasn’t. Pain in my legs at times was unbearable and I was beginning to think that Chan Buddhists were masochists. But, something about Shifu made me fully trust him and I persisted with this practice for several years.
It was during this time that I experience inner conflict regarding seemingly opposing religious traditions I had been exposed to. I had grown up as a Catholic, pretty much became a Vedantic yogi while at MIU, and suddenly found myself very seriously desiring to become a Buddhist monk out of shear trust of my Shifu, Master Sheng-yen. Shifu was an incredible man. When he lectured, you always thought he was talking to you personally. And when he was talking to you, he seemed completely and genuinely interested in you, in your well-being without concern for himself. While I deeply admired this selfless quality, it ran contrary to my education from Maharishi. While the Maharishi proclaimed, “All love is directed toward the self”, the Buddha proclaimed that there is no independently existing person, self, or soul. All the Chan and Zen literature seemed to point to this as fact. My own Shifu seemed to be completely selfless and full of compassion for others. What would it be like to experience “no self”? I was intrigued and apprehensive at the same time. And how could Maharishi say that the ultimate reality was Brahman when the Buddha and my Shifu proclaimed that there is no such thing? How could there be no Creator? It was so obvious that there was intelligence of a supreme order in the universe. These questions gnawed at me for quite some time.
Eventually, my recourse was to look back at my own Christian tradition for answers. I went through a period where I read meditative and contemplative works by Thomas Merton, Fr. Basil Pennington, Thomas Keating, Catherine Doherty and others for answers. I eventually became interested in meditative tradition of Eastern Orthodox Christianity and even enrolled in a three year program to become a deacon. After the first semester, I faced quiet a crisis. I had read so many books that were required reading on the history of the church and its doctrines and while on vacation at Lake Tahoe, I suddenly realized that I simply didn’t believe in most of the Christian dogma. It was like a balloon was popped and Christianity just vanished before my eyes.
I began studying Buddhist and Indian literature much more seriously to find out how so many obviously enlightened masters could experience a different enlightenment than what Maharishi had laid out. How could there be multiple enlightenments? How can one person experience enlightenment and proclaim that it is Brahman and another experience enlightenment and say that it is void of Self? As I read more about the different schools of Buddhism, I found that even they didn’t agree on what the experience of Nirvana was. The Theravada Buddhist present Nirvana one way and the Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhist present it other ways. So how can the experience of Nirvana be different?
I decided that the only way I would know the truth was to experience it myself. In 2005, I rededicated myself to practicing meditation and started attending Chan retreats at Dharma Drum Retreat Center in Pine Bush, New York. After several retreats, my experience and confidence in the Chan Buddhist tradition deepened significantly. I also went to Vipassina retreats held at the Chanmyay Satipatthana Vihara in Springfield, Illinois, which I felt were extremely helpful in understanding the experience of no self and loosing the fear of this experience. The last retreat I went on was in December of 2009, and this retreat brought about an experience that has made my faith in Buddhism unshakable.
So why am I on a traditional yoga teacher training course? After practicing meditation for many years, I reached a point where I could no longer bear to not help others learn to meditate. There is so much confusion and suffering in the world that is so unnecessary. Through meditation and adapting a lifestyle conducive to its practice, confusion and suffering begin to fall away. At the request of the former abbot of the Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC), Ven. Guo Jun, I began leading a meditation group in Fort Wayne, Indiana (and now in Elk Grove, California). People get together and practice meditation together once every couple weeks or so. Meanwhile, I started practicing yoga again in Elk Grove after joining a fitness club to address health concerns and rediscovered that it was a great way to practice mindfulness and settle down before meditation. Yoga was incorporated into the Chan retreats at DDRC for this reason. The people that attend the meditation sessions I host have a lot of trouble with restlessness and I thought it would be great to incorporate yoga into our meditation practice. Then, I got laid off and was given a Borders Books gift card for my birthday. It was then that I found Srivatsa Ramaswami’s book, The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga, and then found his website and the 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training course offered at LMU. So, hear I am!
Being on this course, I’ve run into a whole new set of philosophies to reconcile. In Ramaswami’s Yoga Sutras class, it became apparent that the Yoga of Patanjali was not the yoga I had learned from Maharishi years ago. Patanjali is said to have written the Yoga Sutras to clarify what had become a morass of conflicting yogic philosophies in India. It was also a reaction to challenges to “orthodox” Indian philosophy from Jain and Buddhist sources. But, in clarifying yoga, Patanjali actually set it apart from Vedantic Brahmanism while introducing a devotional path for those so inclined as well as a purely meditative path for those that do not accept the notion of a Creator God. Patanjali’s Yoga reaches its culmination in the realization of the individual self (atman) as separate from the universal Self. According to Patanjali, enlightenment is a state of duality in which the individual Self is separate from all other phenomena, including the universal Self. The Vedantic tradition sees this duality as the last vestige of ignorance and seeks to remove it. Circling back to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s teaching, the dualism of Patanjali is equivalent to the state of Cosmic Consciousness. It is a state of liberation, but not a fully enlightened state of Unity (or Brahman) Consciousness.
From the Chan Buddhist perspective, the experience of Unity Consciousness is also recognized as a state of liberation and a highly enlightened state. In fact, meditators on Chan retreats that I have attended have had clear experiences of Unity Consciousness, experiencing oneness with the environment. Yet this is not seen as the goal of Chan enlightenment. When meditators go to the retreat master with experiences of oneness with the environment or even the universe, they are told to go back and work harder.
There comes a time when even this oneness falls away and any attachment to the notion of self (individual or universal) evaporates. The Chan retreats use a meditation technique that is sometimes referred to as “The Method of No Method” (refer to my Shifu’s book of this name) or Silent Illumination (Chinese: Muo Zhao). This method requires that the meditator already be able to stay with the object of meditation without problem, i.e., Dhyana, from which the Chinese word Chan is derived. After following the breath and attaining what is referred to as “unifed mind”, the practitioner changes the object of meditation to the entire body and sits with full awareness of the body “just sitting”. As the meditator continues this practice, the distinction of where the body ends and where the environment begins becomes blurred and begins to evaporate completely. During this second stage, the meditator feels as though the body is the entire room. As sounds come from beyond the room, the distinction again falls away and what is beyond the room also is perceived to be all within ones own awareness. This continues until there is a feeling of complete oneness with the environment. Even as the meditator walks to the dining hall, washes the dishes, or lays down to rest, this feeling of oneness with the objects of perception can persist, even extending to the sun, moon, stars, and universe.
To move beyond this experience of unity with the phenomenal world, some retreat masters will use a technique known as “Direct Contemplation” and have the practitioners focus on an object in the natural world with bare awareness. When the meditator is ripe for such a technique, even the unified subject/object relationship begins to melt. It’s as if perception pivots on itself and looses the need of a perceiver. The subject of perception fades and only the object remains. The phenomenal world becomes fully illumined by silence and all of nature comes alive, all things infinitely correlated with all other things, all speaking to all other with perfect fluidity. A cosmic orchestra of mutually supporting, ever changing phenomena penetrated by silence. It is a state of absolute perfection and contentment devoid of any attachment to self or any object of perception. In Chan literature, it is said to be beyond words, yet there are some very beautiful poems by Chan masters that beautifully give glimpses of this state.
So who is to say that the experience of Brahman is any different? Does the person that experiences the mahavakya, “Aham Brahmasmi”, experience anything differently that the Chan practitioner of the highest calibre? Does he still identify with a universal Self? Is there still attachment or clinging to Self? I leave this for you to ponder, or better yet to penetrate.
While there are different paths to enlightenment and different levels of enlightenment, ultimately at the highest level they cannot be different. Experiencing silence between waves at the sea shore or feeling a vague oneness with the wind and trees in the mountains could be called a dawning of awakening. Experiencing mind totally content to stay with the object of meditation is a level of enlightenment. Effortlessly maintaining constant awareness of oneself during activity is another level and loosing awareness of that self is yet another, higher level. When one has no more to do for oneself but can only think of helping others out of suffering, this is higher still. Realizing there is no suffering is still higher.
There cannot be different ultimate truths. I believe all spiritual paths may ultimately lead to one truth. As we say in the Mid-West, some paths may be “taking the long way around the barn”, but they all lead to the other side. My own path around the barn has been a long and winding one. May your path to the supreme truth be as direct and sweet as possible!
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